Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Rook to Why the HELL Is There Never Any Paper In Here?

Yesterday, the two-day stalemate between two of the world's greatest strategic minds came to an end. With only minutes to spare before a midnight deadline, the representatives for World Chess Federation Champion Veselin Topalov of Bulgaria and the Classical World Chess Champion Vladimir Kramnik of Russia finally managed to come to a truce, ensuring that the high-stakes 12 match competition to decide the world's greatest chess player (and the coinciding argument of who was lonelier in high school) will continue.

I am, of course, referring to the fisticuffs that sprang up between the two Grand Masters when Kramnik alleged that Topalov had gone to the bathroom too many times and was therefore cheating. We refer now to the highly accurate transcript of that afternoon.

KRAMNIK: Nobody can possibly piss that often. What're you using for paper, Idiot's Guide to Losing High Stakes Chess Match?

TOPOLOV: How dare you! Wonder Slav Arthritis Powers ACTIVATE!


However, both players have agreed to sit back down and keep on fighting the symbolic fight. Nice to know that when the pawns are taken, we still see the thing that really matters emerge: utterly crushing the other guy.


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